Friday, October 24, 2008

Day 4: Thurs., Oct. 23rd

Today was incredibly challenging.

I did experience one of my most pivotal "softer" moments today at work when 3 of my kids had their last day in my program. I was incredibly heartbroken about their leaving, worried about what was going to happen to them in the future as they experienced an ugly custody battle. My most tender, nurturing side prevailed today, even resulting in some private tears at my desk at the end of the day. I have never felt so much like a woman, a mother wanting desperately to provide love and protection, as I did today.

And then my social outing was with two of my best guy friends who proceeded to engage me in a conversation about balls. Granted they were the ones talking and I was simply listening, but I was an incredibly active listener ready to tell them all about the size of my private parts, until.....

I actually experienced THAT moment of drawing the line. Amazing. I have found some boundaries.

So my major reflection from today is the following: While I may lack some general feminine qualities like the ability to comfortably wear a dress, reserving my private thoughts, social grace and manners... I absolutely do not lack utmost care and concern for those in my life, a tenderness comparable to the best steak you ever ate, an ability to nurture with ease and care, and pleasure in connecting with others. And I draw the line at discussing what my lady parts look like.

So there. Take that "feminine experiment".

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