Saturday, August 27, 2011

She Came From the Wasteland

She came from the wasteland,

And she was dirty and poor,
begging for a glass of water

And was tightly hugging your heels,
kissing your calves, asking for your love

And when you finally gave it to her,
She drank it from your mouth

She was dancing like a fool
And smiling like a child

And she said, "thank you, thank you, thank you"
And dug her hands into the soft ground
And said, "thank you, thank you, thank you"


8/22/11


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Epic

The following piece of writing is dedicated to all of my Heart House children, whom I love with every single fiber of my being. You are my children, my family, and the reason I am who I am today. I will miss you every day that I do not see you, but I will always do everything I can to honor you and our special relationships.

I want to write the most epic poem for each of you,
Crafted from a heart bursting with the most love you could ever imagine
With bright imagery and allegory, but you are not yet ready
To understand the complexity of such things

I want to write the most epic story of all of us,
The castles we stormed, the gardens we grew, the travels to other worlds
With amazing metaphor and symbolism, but others are not yet ready
To understand the possibilities of our dreams

I want to write the most epic song about it all,
Composed with dynamic elements of verse and lyric
With a bridge that tugs at the listener's heartstrings, but I am not ready
To write the ending.

8/18/11



A Relationship: In 2 Parts

"NO"

So we sat and talked
While I ran you in circles
Trying to get my words to
Pour from your mouth
But you didn't even flinch
As I put my arm around you
I was the one who couldn't
Look you in the eyes

(They would've been my favorite color.)

I swear I must've prayed to God
A thousand times
For a man like you
But did He know this?
Use it against me for smoking cigarettes
Under my parents' roof?

Do you recall the day it poured rain
And we just sat and stared at it?
Did you realize that you held me
So tight
I never dreamed you'd let me go,

And so now we sit and talk
And I can feel your gaze upon me
As you wrap your arm around me
And tell me,
"No."

-8/26/99



"ON HOW TO BREAK UP"

When you squeeze a smoke ring
Slightly pinch your fingers
So that the smoke slowly pulls apart
And the ring becomes two,
Creeping towards the sky
Until they have their last breath
And if,
By slight pinch
You cannot conjure the smoke to part
Blow faintly upon it
And perhaps it will become agitated
And begin to separate,
But,
Be sure that you are ready
For the chance that it might float back to you.

Since I Have Not Felt Your Presence

Since I have not felt your presence in years
Imagine
To find you here
On the tip of my tongue,
I was sure I had swallowed you
Wholly,
Fully digested the salty leftovers
Of our love-
making it easier to end
You. Me. Us.
Finite
-ly
Already satiated with the regret of.

Since I have not felt your presence in years
Remind
Me of the taste of full-flavored cigarettes
Inhaled with nervousness,
Again.
To find you here,
Tightening the lungs,
Squeezing stomach muscle,
Rising upwards, brushing the heartstrings
Now inside my
Mouth, urging--
You. Me. Us.

--9/17/07

In Ships

We sit here in ships
Anchored to the bottom of the ocean
Of lovers and friends
With tight grips around the heavy metal
Or iron or whatever it is
That anchors are made which make
Things difficult to pack up and go

On deck
We wait patiently
As the boat rocks gently back and forth
Like the way our bodies rock
Back and forth
Towards and away from each other
Gently

For some reason, we cannot move
Any longer
Not towards land and not farther
In this sea
I'm contemplating violently throwing things over
Board
Maybe even you
Because it feels too heavy
This ship
These bodies
This metal (or is it iron?) anchor
These things on my mind

We sit here in ships
Held fast and tight
Unlike the way that you we have ever held
Hands
We sit here in ships
Chained to the lovers and friends
Content to let ourselves rock gently
Unlike the way our hearts rock
Nervously

You are seated next to me
Compass in hand,
Map laid out on our laps
As if we ever had a way of finding our final destination.

8/13/08

Quietly (but not so quietly)

Quietly (but not so quietly),
In a chair with legs propped up
Hands folded calmly (but not so calmly) across the lap,
Perhaps I should start by explaining this--

I talk
alot.

Quietly (but not so quitely)
The story begins with you and I
Summer night air
Thick with anxious questions
Perhaps I should start by saying this--

I am not
mysterious.

Quietly (but not so quietly)
I wonder what you are thinking
Because you are not
Saying anything
Perhaps I should end by stating this--

You are
lovely.

8/24/08

March 9th, 2010

Please don't call me
Don't even say my name
In conversation with some friends of yours
I know you'll reach for your phone
And think about pressing the buttons
But I won't answer

No I won't answer
Because you can't answer me

Please don't write me
Don't even start the letter
On some scratch paper by your computer
I know you'll reach for your pencil
As you're searching for the words
But I won't read it

No I won't read it
Because you won't answer me

These sad songs I have on shuffle
Help me get through the day
They give me the words I need to hear
That you broke me
And you're sorry
And you wish you had me back
But I won't take you

No I won't take you
Because you wouldn't answer me

Answer me when I looked into your nervous eyes
Answer me when I searched for your hand in mine
Answer me when I showed up at your doorstep
And saw her with you inside

I won't answer
And I won't read it
And I won't take you

I'm not angry anymore
I've got nothing left to say
I finally found my answer
It's gonna be hard
But I'm going my own way

Come Over/How I Wasted Time

When you come over
When you place your hand
Moving in a circular rhythm down my back
I find it very difficult to say no
To say let’s leave it alone
I know, but I invited you over

When I come over
When I lay my head
Resting on your shoulder slowly
I find it very difficult to let go
To say this is not enough
I know it’s not, but I come over

I know you are about to turn your face towards mine
You know our lips will meet electrically
We will breathe in and out together
Both of our bodies shaking slightly in nervousness
We find it very difficult to not want this
To say that we are scared and lonely

When we sit there for the first moments
Thinking of the scene that is about to unfold:
Mouths, hands, legs, hands
We find it difficult to stop
To say no
To let go
To not want this

Come over.

1/5/11