I Flipped My Shtuff Over Ryan Gosling, Part 2

...and the story continues....

On Saturday, my roommate and went to S Congress, half-hoping that we might spot the Gosling. While we were there, my brother and sister-in-law happened to call and offer me their Fun Fun Fun wristbands for the rest of the weekend. It seemed too good to be true! We were in the festival!

We picked up our wristbands and headed over to the festival grounds, imagining what we would possibly do or say if he saw him. It was becoming more and more of a reality, particularly with our friend Stephen texting us updates on where Ryan was at the festival.

However, it became clear quickly that we needed backstage access to get anywhere close to him and since we didn't have that, we sent Stephen and a very inebriated Zac to go take a photo, get an autograph, or ANYTHING and then report back to us! After waiting on them for quite some time, we had to take off to meet our ride.

Later, we met up with Stephen and some other friends and while we were out I heard that he might be out downtown, so we hurried to head out to find him. Turns out....people were already starting to use the Gosling frenzy to their advantage by posting fake updates just to mess with people like us.

It was obvious that most of the guys in Austin were NOT stoked about the fact that Ryan Gosling was in town, messing up their mojo and making all the women crazy. Many dudes I talked to seemed surprised, feeling like the Ryan Gosling fantasy for women came out of nowhere. Unfortunately for them, they just never thought to ask or pay attention to it, thinking they were safe from him ever actually invading their city. I think that if most men were listening, they would hear plenty of women (particularly in my circle) fawn over Ryan. But it seems only natural that some guys would feel jealous and their manhood threatened by having to listen to 80% of the females in Austin going gaga over the Gosling. And some couldn't care less at all, so I was not surprised to discover a lot of poutiness and jokery abound.

But like we cared what they thought. The fact is, Ryan Gosling is hot, talented, and charming. Any man can argue that with me as much as they want, but they cannot win. And it feels nice to have your heart race every once in awhile with excitement at meeting someone you swoon over, since no other man is currently providing me that opportunity or even TRYING in the least bit.

But as it turns out, the universe was feeling very giving towards me for my birthday month. (THANK GOD, because I feel like I really do deserve it. ) The same night, I'm contacted by my friend Jacob who is performing at Fun Fun Fun and he offers to give us backstage passes!

So at this point, we know a few things:

1.) I've officially become a stalker.
2.) My celebrity obsession has taken over any semblance of my normal self.
3.) We will almost DEFINITELY see Ryan Gosling tomorrow.

I'll tell you all about the glorious day in my next post! :)

I Flipped My Shtuff Over Ryan Gosling, Part 1

So I would just like to openly admit that I have the crazies for Ryan Gosling. However, I did not realize just how psychotic my obsession was until this weekend, when my friends began to text me pictures of him at Fun Fun Fun Fest in Austin.

When I first got these messages, my heart literally raced and then immediately sank. Ryan Gosling was at Fun Fun Fun Fest, where all of my friends were and I was NOT. So my roommate and I decided our first strategy was to try and solicit insider information from our friends who were there by offering favors and first born children.

At this point, my sister-in-law shared a link to a certain blog that was actually tracking pictures of Ryan at the festival. Yes, it only took a few hours for someone to create this, a tool that fueled our fire for finding him before the weekend was over.

www.ryangoslingatfunfunfunfest.tumblr.com

I began to realize that this was only the beginning of an entire population of women in Austin freaking out over the arrival of this dreamboat in our city. I was seething with envy over the other pictures of other girls taking photos with him and posting it on this website for everyone to see. It was just one more blow to the fact that he was in the presence of my city and yet seemed so far away.....

So I continued with my Friday night plans to have a slumber party, where we played board games to get our minds off of our insanity. But it wasn't long before we were watching "Crazy, Stupid, Love" and mapping out a plan for the next day.

It was now officially a mission.

To be continued........

She Came From the Wasteland

She came from the wasteland,

And she was dirty and poor,
begging for a glass of water

And was tightly hugging your heels,
kissing your calves, asking for your love

And when you finally gave it to her,
She drank it from your mouth

She was dancing like a fool
And smiling like a child

And she said, "thank you, thank you, thank you"
And dug her hands into the soft ground
And said, "thank you, thank you, thank you"


8/22/11

Epic

The following piece of writing is dedicated to all of my Heart House children, whom I love with every single fiber of my being. You are my children, my family, and the reason I am who I am today. I will miss you every day that I do not see you, but I will always do everything I can to honor you and our special relationships.

I want to write the most epic poem for each of you,
Crafted from a heart bursting with the most love you could ever imagine
With bright imagery and allegory, but you are not yet ready
To understand the complexity of such things

I want to write the most epic story of all of us,
The castles we stormed, the gardens we grew, the travels to other worlds
With amazing metaphor and symbolism, but others are not yet ready
To understand the possibilities of our dreams

I want to write the most epic song about it all,
Composed with dynamic elements of verse and lyric
With a bridge that tugs at the listener's heartstrings, but I am not ready
To write the ending.

8/18/11

A Relationship: In 2 Parts

"NO"

So we sat and talked
While I ran you in circles
Trying to get my words to
Pour from your mouth
But you didn't even flinch
As I put my arm around you
I was the one who couldn't
Look you in the eyes

(They would've been my favorite color.)

I swear I must've prayed to God
A thousand times
For a man like you
But did He know this?
Use it against me for smoking cigarettes
Under my parents' roof?

Do you recall the day it poured rain
And we just sat and stared at it?
Did you realize that you held me
So tight
I never dreamed you'd let me go,

And so now we sit and talk
And I can feel your gaze upon me
As you wrap your arm around me
And tell me,
"No."

-8/26/99



"ON HOW TO BREAK UP"

When you squeeze a smoke ring
Slightly pinch your fingers
So that the smoke slowly pulls apart
And the ring becomes two,
Creeping towards the sky
Until they have their last breath
And if,
By slight pinch
You cannot conjure the smoke to part
Blow faintly upon it
And perhaps it will become agitated
And begin to separate,
But,
Be sure that you are ready
For the chance that it might float back to you.

Since I Have Not Felt Your Presence

Since I have not felt your presence in years
Imagine
To find you here
On the tip of my tongue,
I was sure I had swallowed you
Wholly,
Fully digested the salty leftovers
Of our love-
making it easier to end
You. Me. Us.
Finite
-ly
Already satiated with the regret of.

Since I have not felt your presence in years
Remind
Me of the taste of full-flavored cigarettes
Inhaled with nervousness,
Again.
To find you here,
Tightening the lungs,
Squeezing stomach muscle,
Rising upwards, brushing the heartstrings
Now inside my
Mouth, urging--
You. Me. Us.

--9/17/07

In Ships

We sit here in ships
Anchored to the bottom of the ocean
Of lovers and friends
With tight grips around the heavy metal
Or iron or whatever it is
That anchors are made which make
Things difficult to pack up and go

On deck
We wait patiently
As the boat rocks gently back and forth
Like the way our bodies rock
Back and forth
Towards and away from each other
Gently

For some reason, we cannot move
Any longer
Not towards land and not farther
In this sea
I'm contemplating violently throwing things over
Board
Maybe even you
Because it feels too heavy
This ship
These bodies
This metal (or is it iron?) anchor
These things on my mind

We sit here in ships
Held fast and tight
Unlike the way that you we have ever held
Hands
We sit here in ships
Chained to the lovers and friends
Content to let ourselves rock gently
Unlike the way our hearts rock
Nervously

You are seated next to me
Compass in hand,
Map laid out on our laps
As if we ever had a way of finding our final destination.

8/13/08