Mawwage

I have been asked to marry my friends in September. They are going to pay to have me ordained online. I am THRILLED beyond belief.

People want me to freakin' marry them!

Oh man, they must really trust me on this one....

So if you or anyone you know is getting married in the next year, let me know. I can make this happen for you too. :)

I used to write for this cool online webzine....

Did you know that I had a brief love affair with an online webzine? Yes, it's true.

For a few months back in 2009, I had a weekly date with the Loco Nunca crew in Austin.

I quit because............why DID I quit? Oh yeah, because they were super disorganized at group meetings and I was really busy at the time and in a hurry to get things accomplished. I hope that if any of them ever happen on this blog post, they will not be offended because honestly, they are all incredibly talented and creative artists and writers and I am thankful that they accepted me into their group.

You'll get hooked into their world of indulgence, angst, and anger here: www.loconunca.com

And if you'd like to read the few things I ever wrote for Loco Nunca, please check them out below. I wrote under the pen name "Nikki Bonzai". This name came about when my friend and I decided that the best combination to figure out your porn name is your middle name and favorite tree. At least, that formula worked out better for me than any others, so it stuck with me and I was eager to use it in real life... Enough on the pen name, read here:

"Choose Your Own Adult Adventures"
"To You, Who Will Never Read This"


Their website is witty and emotionally charged, full of sass and sex and strong opinions on everything from hangover food to political figureheads.

Here are just a few of my favorite articles:

Say Girl, What's Your Night?
The Girl Crush
A Decade in Douchebags
Pit Stop: A Rundown of Austin's Restrooms

FOUND: Halloween Photo

Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday. After every Halloween, I immediately start planning costumes for the next one. Well, this past Halloween was a series of unfortunate events. It began with the onset of the flu. Despite the illness, I carried on.....spending 2 hours to prepare for my most elaborate Halloween costume to-date--Smurfette. 2 hours of smearing blue body paint ALL OVER myself. I finally made it to the party only to continue to feel more sick. With no camera of my own to capture all of the wonderful costumes and festivities, I relied on others' photos to be MySpaced and Facebooked to me in the coming days. But then I passed out in my friend's guest bedroom in the middle of the party and was later informed that my friend (who had been taking all of the photos that night) had mistakenly erased her entire memory card.

So then I was left sick, sad, and without any proof that I was indeed once Smurfette.

UNTIL NOW......when perusing through my computer files, I realized that I had captured a few shots of myself on my webcam before leaving my house.

This may not make your day, but it sure made mine!

Fake Family Photo

Meet my new family. I acquired them in Lubbock, TX. They're nice. Well except for our daughter....who APPARENTLY does not like me. Oh, but she looooooooves Brian. I think it must be the beard. Maybe she has confused him with Santa.

So there IS a song about me....

My dear Swedish friends told me about this song and granted, I have NO IDEA what it's about....I do understand "Haj Monika". Haaaaaaaaj.