Since I have not felt your presence in years
Imagine
To find you here
On the tip of my tongue,
I was sure I had swallowed you
Wholly,
Fully digested the salty leftovers
Of our love-
making it easier to end
You. Me. Us.
Finite
-ly
Already satiated with the regret of.
Since I have not felt your presence in years
Remind
Me of the taste of full-flavored cigarettes
Inhaled with nervousness,
Again.
To find you here,
Tightening the lungs,
Squeezing stomach muscle,
Rising upwards, brushing the heartstrings
Now inside my
Mouth, urging--
You. Me. Us.
--9/17/07
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
In Ships
We sit here in ships
Anchored to the bottom of the ocean
Of lovers and friends
With tight grips around the heavy metal
Or iron or whatever it is
That anchors are made which make
Things difficult to pack up and go
On deck
We wait patiently
As the boat rocks gently back and forth
Like the way our bodies rock
Back and forth
Towards and away from each other
Gently
For some reason, we cannot move
Any longer
Not towards land and not farther
In this sea
I'm contemplating violently throwing things over
Board
Maybe even you
Because it feels too heavy
This ship
These bodies
This metal (or is it iron?) anchor
These things on my mind
We sit here in ships
Held fast and tight
Unlike the way that you we have ever held
Hands
We sit here in ships
Chained to the lovers and friends
Content to let ourselves rock gently
Unlike the way our hearts rock
Nervously
You are seated next to me
Compass in hand,
Map laid out on our laps
As if we ever had a way of finding our final destination.
8/13/08
Anchored to the bottom of the ocean
Of lovers and friends
With tight grips around the heavy metal
Or iron or whatever it is
That anchors are made which make
Things difficult to pack up and go
On deck
We wait patiently
As the boat rocks gently back and forth
Like the way our bodies rock
Back and forth
Towards and away from each other
Gently
For some reason, we cannot move
Any longer
Not towards land and not farther
In this sea
I'm contemplating violently throwing things over
Board
Maybe even you
Because it feels too heavy
This ship
These bodies
This metal (or is it iron?) anchor
These things on my mind
We sit here in ships
Held fast and tight
Unlike the way that you we have ever held
Hands
We sit here in ships
Chained to the lovers and friends
Content to let ourselves rock gently
Unlike the way our hearts rock
Nervously
You are seated next to me
Compass in hand,
Map laid out on our laps
As if we ever had a way of finding our final destination.
8/13/08
Quietly (but not so quietly)
Quietly (but not so quietly),
In a chair with legs propped up
Hands folded calmly (but not so calmly) across the lap,
Perhaps I should start by explaining this--
I talk
alot.
Quietly (but not so quitely)
The story begins with you and I
Summer night air
Thick with anxious questions
Perhaps I should start by saying this--
I am not
mysterious.
Quietly (but not so quietly)
I wonder what you are thinking
Because you are not
Saying anything
Perhaps I should end by stating this--
You are
lovely.
8/24/08
In a chair with legs propped up
Hands folded calmly (but not so calmly) across the lap,
Perhaps I should start by explaining this--
I talk
alot.
Quietly (but not so quitely)
The story begins with you and I
Summer night air
Thick with anxious questions
Perhaps I should start by saying this--
I am not
mysterious.
Quietly (but not so quietly)
I wonder what you are thinking
Because you are not
Saying anything
Perhaps I should end by stating this--
You are
lovely.
8/24/08
March 9th, 2010
Please don't call me
Don't even say my name
In conversation with some friends of yours
I know you'll reach for your phone
And think about pressing the buttons
But I won't answer
No I won't answer
Because you can't answer me
Please don't write me
Don't even start the letter
On some scratch paper by your computer
I know you'll reach for your pencil
As you're searching for the words
But I won't read it
No I won't read it
Because you won't answer me
These sad songs I have on shuffle
Help me get through the day
They give me the words I need to hear
That you broke me
And you're sorry
And you wish you had me back
But I won't take you
No I won't take you
Because you wouldn't answer me
Answer me when I looked into your nervous eyes
Answer me when I searched for your hand in mine
Answer me when I showed up at your doorstep
And saw her with you inside
I won't answer
And I won't read it
And I won't take you
I'm not angry anymore
I've got nothing left to say
I finally found my answer
It's gonna be hard
But I'm going my own way
Don't even say my name
In conversation with some friends of yours
I know you'll reach for your phone
And think about pressing the buttons
But I won't answer
No I won't answer
Because you can't answer me
Please don't write me
Don't even start the letter
On some scratch paper by your computer
I know you'll reach for your pencil
As you're searching for the words
But I won't read it
No I won't read it
Because you won't answer me
These sad songs I have on shuffle
Help me get through the day
They give me the words I need to hear
That you broke me
And you're sorry
And you wish you had me back
But I won't take you
No I won't take you
Because you wouldn't answer me
Answer me when I looked into your nervous eyes
Answer me when I searched for your hand in mine
Answer me when I showed up at your doorstep
And saw her with you inside
I won't answer
And I won't read it
And I won't take you
I'm not angry anymore
I've got nothing left to say
I finally found my answer
It's gonna be hard
But I'm going my own way
Come Over/How I Wasted Time
When you come over
When you place your hand
Moving in a circular rhythm down my back
I find it very difficult to say no
To say let’s leave it alone
I know, but I invited you over
When I come over
When I lay my head
Resting on your shoulder slowly
I find it very difficult to let go
To say this is not enough
I know it’s not, but I come over
I know you are about to turn your face towards mine
You know our lips will meet electrically
We will breathe in and out together
Both of our bodies shaking slightly in nervousness
We find it very difficult to not want this
To say that we are scared and lonely
When we sit there for the first moments
Thinking of the scene that is about to unfold:
Mouths, hands, legs, hands
We find it difficult to stop
To say no
To let go
To not want this
Come over.
1/5/11
When you place your hand
Moving in a circular rhythm down my back
I find it very difficult to say no
To say let’s leave it alone
I know, but I invited you over
When I come over
When I lay my head
Resting on your shoulder slowly
I find it very difficult to let go
To say this is not enough
I know it’s not, but I come over
I know you are about to turn your face towards mine
You know our lips will meet electrically
We will breathe in and out together
Both of our bodies shaking slightly in nervousness
We find it very difficult to not want this
To say that we are scared and lonely
When we sit there for the first moments
Thinking of the scene that is about to unfold:
Mouths, hands, legs, hands
We find it difficult to stop
To say no
To let go
To not want this
Come over.
1/5/11
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Sometime between Jan 15th and now I fell in love with Queen
BAM. It hit me out of nowhere. Kind of like someone who has been a good friend for awhile, you have fond memories with them, they make your life fun....and then one day you begin to feel something inside of you that transcends friendship. It's a new feeling. Oh shit....it's LOVE.
And then you realize....it's been them all along. How did you never see it before? How could you be so blind? They are so amazing and wonderful! When you think of life without them, you can already imagine this hole in your heart.
Yes, this is what has happened to me. Queen had been on my mind lately. I found myself choosing Queen songs during karaoke happy hours. I found myself searching for YouTube videos. I started requesting to hear Queen wherever I went.
And I woke up Sunday morning and knew...I was madly in love with Queen. What's a girl to do? Lord, someone help me because I anticipate that this could turn into something obsessive and emotionally complicated.
And then you realize....it's been them all along. How did you never see it before? How could you be so blind? They are so amazing and wonderful! When you think of life without them, you can already imagine this hole in your heart.
Yes, this is what has happened to me. Queen had been on my mind lately. I found myself choosing Queen songs during karaoke happy hours. I found myself searching for YouTube videos. I started requesting to hear Queen wherever I went.
And I woke up Sunday morning and knew...I was madly in love with Queen. What's a girl to do? Lord, someone help me because I anticipate that this could turn into something obsessive and emotionally complicated.
Mawwage
I have been asked to marry my friends in September. They are going to pay to have me ordained online. I am THRILLED beyond belief.
People want me to freakin' marry them!
Oh man, they must really trust me on this one....
So if you or anyone you know is getting married in the next year, let me know. I can make this happen for you too. :)
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