2012: A Time Odssey

2012 Remembered: A Time Odyssey

Lately, I'd been feeling like 2012 had been a really rough year for me. But on a drive back from Houston after new years, I found myself reminiscing with friends about our favorite moments of 2012. This ended up being a very important conversation and experience, in discovering how easy it can be to get wrapped up in the crap instead of in the treasures.

So this is my personal reflection of all of the really great things that happened this year, and my collective high fives and hugs to everyone who made it possible.

Here were some really awesome moments:

1. My trip to Chicago to meet up with John Crouse VII. Elevator rides, museum adventures, the sweaty underground dance club where we dropped some mad skills, trying to park during a Cubs game, and frolicking around town with his friends. It was such a blast.


2. The adventures of Seven's Sister Wives---Amy Doozles Spencer came back from her summer away from Austin and John Crouse VII and Jorge Antonio Muñoz ended up being the only dudes there. I think it was my fault for inviting men to ladies' night! Anyway, it was a seriously fun time of pretending Seven lived a polygamist lifestyle, dancing super hard at the clurb, and a memorable collection of photos. 

3. That night that Leah Sutton and Amanda Cooper came over to our house for the first time, which also happened to be one of Cam's first nights as our roommate. So many things were happening at once! Paloma was cutting Daniel Smith's hair, we were making up ridiculous Spanish songs, we put on hand tattoos and then ended our night eating free nachos at Bingo.


4. Our 4th of July Backyard Gladiators party that basically turned into an adult fraternity party. This party had everything: outdoor games, every blow up pool and toy imaginable (so much so that I broke  my air compressor), the most enthusiastic living room dance-a-long to Michael Jackson's "Will You Be There?", our first time playing Cards Against Humanity (complete with major laughing fits), and a night time outdoor viewing of Independence Day.


5. The return to National Karaoke League! I had such a blast introducing a bunch of new people to the league, reconnecting with various folks from different parts of my life, performing again, and learning to sing my heart out with a brace face! People can do some creative things with props--I saw the most amazing shopping cart performance, cardboard boxes made into every imaginable item, and kept on top of world news through teams' skits. The league actually made me more intelligent, so thank you.


6. Murder Mystery on the Sea Cruise--someone died, everyone had to solve the murder. People brought the most delicious dishes...now I KNOW they can cook and I never let them off the hook for future events. :)  We broke in Paul and Diana's brand new beautiful house, two people made "more than friends" connection, I got to wear a mustache and captain's hat...it was a win-win-win situation all around.


7. Anthony and Natalie's Landscape Makeover TV Show filming--it was such a cool experience to see how makeover shows are filmed and to help my brother and sister-in-law receive a totally new front-yard. So many friends and family came out to help make it happen. Plus, there was tons of yummy free food all day and I learned how to paint a house!

8. This one night that my brother Matt and I were coming home from the bars and we were loudly singing along to "I'm Like a Bird". When it got to the woo-woo-woo-woo-woos, my brother hit them right on target...and I just about died laughing. It was a simple joy in life, riding home with my bro and enjoying a sing-a-long together.

9. My experience with Mortified. It was a cathartic process for me and I learned so much about my younger self and my life journey. Reading my teenage writing to a large audience took a lot more courage than I thought it would, but those nights were probably the most I laughed all year because we all share the painful awareness of how awkward and  challenging growing up is.

10. Lunches with the boys. Dustin, Steed, and Josh and "sometimes Stephen" are my most favorite lunch buddies....and  I look forward to anytime we can get together (in any combination) and talk about everything silly and serious.

11. Not one, but TWO themed pub crawls hosted by Paloma--dressing up like Bill Murray in "What About Bob?" AND taking body shots in said costume, was one of the best moments of 2012 for me personally. But a close second was the SNL pub crawl, full of some of my favorite characters, climbing trees, falling over, and acting rowdy.

12. Learning how to play Settlers of Catan with Alejos, Adrian and Tim while I was in Lubbock. Who knew trading ore, wheat, sheep and brick could be so much fun!

13. Party Bus for Maria and Adrienne's birthday. I am STILL recovering from all of the fun. 

14. The New Year's Eve Wizard's Ball in Houston--anytime I can dress up like my magical alter-ego(s), I am a happy girl. And anywhere there are wizards, I am totally there. It was the perfect way to spend New Year's, away from my city and completely focused on being with some of my favorite people. Plus, I did get to visit a rather magical wizard's portal that night. ;)

This is a poem about holding hands,

and how it inevitably changes everything

About how the moment you feel someone's fingers,

Curled in yours,

You are home, intertwined.

There are no more lines of this poem left to describe,

What happens when you let go.

1/25/12

MA

Outside, at a Party

He looks her in the face

(A face dewey from the mist outside)

And tells her,

"I don't love you."

But she persists,

With batting eyelashes

(Flitting with nervousness and hope)

And proudly rebuffs,

"I don't believe you."

And so they stand there,

In total silence

(The kind of silence that is brief and yet lasts forever)

And he knows she is right.

And she knows now she must leave him.

But neither can begin to end it.

So they quiet their heart's desires,

Outside, at a party

And simply say "Goodnight" instead.

-3/28/12

MA

Awake & Asleep

Here are three songs that are currently keeping my heart awake at night, and a reason to sleep to dream.

"I get so haunted, I fall in your dreams tonight
I get so haunted, That I misunderstood tonight
This is real, this is what you search out
And you wouldn't believe, you could never say it's true."

"Blow by blowI didn't see it comingBlow by blowSucker Punched
Rushes inHere to stayRushes inYou are here to stay"


"Might be holding your hand but I'm holding it loose"
http://youtu.be/T9yGcKlYAiw

And So It Is So

And so it is

So-

I cannot live without:

music, trees, love

You, so

I

will give you time to decide:

this, that, us-

A song with a bridge

Or a song only with chorus

One great weeping willow

Or a large redwood forest

And so that is

So-

I am standing here:

notes, branches, heart

You, so

We

will fall asleep separate, together, in love.

1/24/12

Things Change Over Time

Things change over time. The way a moment felt can take many shapes and forms as it settles in your memory. I experienced this chapter of my life in stages: excitement, disappointment, anger, understanding. But there will always be a certain nostalgia about what this person and the moment taught me from a "bigger picture" perspective. I enjoyed reading the two different ways I told this story, from my memory's own record.

For the Record ("For the Future")

Fleetwood Mac, Tom Petty;

You sang along softly in my ear

Displayed record collection, misplaced feelings;

I melted on your ugly green couch.

Wine filled mind, emptied hearts;

I will always feel this moment,

Solitarily, inevitably stoned.

-MA

6/11/12

For the Record

I melted on your ugly plaid couch,

With a wine filled mind and an emptied out heart.

I’m not trying to sound like I am holding on

To the past,

Here.

You let me play Fleetwood Mac,

For the first time in years, truth was in the music

I’m merely mentioning what is fact,

Not exaggerated,

After.

I danced with you in your living room,

Among your impressive displayed record collection and misplaced feelings

I’m just writing this all down,

As a reminder,

For the future.

8/21/11

I Flipped My Shtuff Over Ryan Gosling, The Finale

I took way too long to write this whole story. So much, that even I have begun to lose interest. I apologize for those you of who have been hanging on the edge of your seats like you're waiting for the next episode of "Glee".

Let's see if I can still capture the magic of the day when I actually saw Ryan Gosling.

Due to the kindness of my friends and family, Paloma and Abbie were both able to join me at Fun Fun Fun this last day of the festival.

We met up and headed over to watch "Mates of State", a band that is sentimental to me and one that I have had the pleasure of seeing perform for many many years. The need to hunt down the Gosling was less important that enjoying Mates of State and being in the moment.

So what should happen next? Ryan Gosling and the film crew appear on the stage next to Mates of State. This is where I majorly freak out and ditch everyone.

I was able to catch a few awesome shots of Ryan on stage, including a photo of him actually looking at me/my camera.

I mean I told everyone he looked at me, it doesn't matter if he really did or not, right?

But was that enough to settle me and bring closure to my mission? It's just like french fries. I get greedy. I want them all.

So this is where I walk backstage, run into my friends Dagny and Jaime, who encourage me to hang out back there until Ryan comes down at which point Dagny will ask him to take a picture with me. She's got a professional camera on her and looks legit, so I feel like my chances are pretty high.

He's walking off the stage, towards us....

Inside, I'm squealing like a schoolgirl and also secretly flipping my shit....what if he actually touches me? What we talk to each other? I feel like my head and heart my explode. I haven't been this nervous since my first kiss.

But within seconds, the movie crew has encircled him and he's on a golf cart with his head down and turned away from everyone. Dagny does not give up....she can do that cause she is gorgeous and has legs for days. But when she asks if he'll take a photo with me, he simply shakes his head no, without even looking up at me. I mean if he saw me, he'd obviously not turn me down, right? I kind of die a little inside. I look at him sitting there, head hanging down, and he honestly looks exhausted. I'll give him that. I went to a dark, stalkerish place and needed to get myself back again. I'll give myself that.

So I decide to go on with my day. I enjoyed FFF Fest with my friends and ended up having the most AMAZING time WITHOUT Ryan Gosling on my mind. I realize that the adventure is what swept me off my feet and not so much needing anything in particular to happen. I've got my handful of Ryan photos, I stood THISCLOSE to him, and he waved to me and my friends at one point (oops, I realized I forgot to mention that.)

The BEST part is that I was able to go to FFF Fest for free, bring along several of my best friends and hang out with a group of my favorite people. We spent some quality time together, I discovered new music, it rained (hell yeah!) and we laughed so hard we cried.



At the end of the night, I decided to take advantage of my backstage access one last time, and who should I happen upon but Ryan Gosling. Literally standing across from me. I watch him quickly walk back on the stage and stands in a corner. When he thinks no one is watching, he takes off his shirt and puts a new one on. What no one realizes is that I am watching...in my own dark corner. But instead of taking advantage of a photo opp, I think, "I can't wait until he leaves Austin." I smile and walk to my car and get the f*&k out of there.

And this concludes the time I flipped my shtuff over Ryan Gosling.

When I first imagined experiencing my 30 favorite things for my 30th birthday, I never imagined that something like could happen to me. But the universe has been kind and I forever grateful.