Sunday, November 21, 2010

Things I Have Learned This Month..

1.) I want to be a "page turner". I want to learn how to share appropriately and in measured doses so that I am not giving away all the characters, plot and settings too soon. This, in turn, will make me more excited to live my life more spontaneously, less concerned about having it all figured out.

2.) I do not need to "sell" myself. It sounded so harsh when my counselor first helped me realize this character trait about myself. But the truest things are often the hardest to hear. And she hit the nail on the head with that one. Why do I try so hard to show people how cool I am instead of just BEING completely relaxed in expressing myself in the moment and not being so concerned with what they think of me? It's a form of aggressive expression in a way. "Here....I want you to know ALL about me RIGHT you can see all of these wonderful qualities about me and why you should date/befriend/buy me a drink!"

3.) I CAN flirt! Whew...what a relief. I thought I was a goner on that one...

4.) My professional career is calling me to great responsibility and action. There are amazing leadership opportunities in the horizon and I need to strongly consider and define my role as a leader in the youth development field. Again, I need to evaluate my own personal agenda/goal/judgments of myself versus the greater good of the afterschool community and my peers. This is a pivotal, exciting, courageous and truth-seeking time in my career.

5.) I have found the meaning of "calm". It has taken shape in many wonderful forms this month---listening to records on my friend's couch, writing out positive life affirmations, ignoring phone calls and messages, regular massages....I cannot tell you how long it has been since I was comfortable and capable of enjoying moments of solitude, silence, or meditation. I am creating a balance in my life between all of the super exciting fun things I like to do and the recharging, relaxing, introspective moments I need to re-energize. It's a breakthrough staying at home more, letting go of trying to juggle a ridiculous amount of friendships, sitting with myself and really focusing on making myself peaceful and healthy.

Just around the corner from my 29th birthday....I feel like I am in an incredibly exciting place in my life. The best I have been ever. I look forward to continued growth, development, and FUN as I near 30. Wow, I just never imagined that I could be where I am right now. :)

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